Anxiety

I am a worrier to the extreme. I get anxiety over small things, to the point that I get bad panic attacks and cant hardly breath. When I was in high school I actually got shingles and the Dr. said it was because I was so stressed (literally, I can't imagine now what I was stressed about when I was 16). Anxiety has turned me into a chronic nail biter.

I get nervous or stressed over minute things that are beyond my control. This morning I started getting stressed that summer is almost over and then there is basically two weeks of fall and then it's winter, and I hate winter. Yes, in August I got stressed about winter.

I'm pretty sure I get this trait from my from Grandma Darlene, who I am certain would be better if she constantly had an Xanax IV connected to her. Since having Boston my anxiety level has been off the charts...

I never realized how much a baby would change everything, instead of being stressed about just yourself there is always a little person for you to stress over. There is never privacy in your thoughts they are usually consumed by your baby, you have to think once for yourself and once for your child.

Last night I couldn't sleep and stayed awake in bed for almost three hours... Please tell me other moms do this? I am so worried every day if she had enough fun, if she learned enough, if she was loved enough, if she ate enough, if she was happy enough, if I would always be able to provide her with enough...The list is endless.... I really hope other parents do this, too.

Every few months Bostons "dad" gets to spend a short amount of time with her, and I honestly am glad that he is now taking an initiative to get to know her. Do I think he is capable of taking care of her for a short amount of time... Maybe.... Even if he was Mary Poppins or that amazing nanny from Nanny 911 I would still be worried sick about it; no one can take care of you like your mom can. Even to this day if I am sick or sad or stressed its my mom I call.

There is an Old English Proverb that states, "worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere." Easier said than done though, right?  If you have any personal advice on what you do for your to calm your mind when it won't stop please share it with this worried mamma.

 

XO:

Ashlynn&Boston BRONSON

No, I don't think the whole world is on my shoulders but her whole world is.