Seasons

I don't like fall, I hate winter. I have recently started to realize that although I love the sun and warmth it's mostly change that I struggle with. There is a song called Landslide by Stevie Nicks, that was redone by the Dixie Chicks and they lyrics say, "can I handle the seasons of my life." I am the absolute worse at this. 

I am an anticipating and a reminiscing kind of person, living in the moment is hard for me. Yesterday I was sitting in the parking lot and I saw a woman carrying her new baby in her infant car seat into the store and the first thought that popped into my head was how I missed that phase. I then remembered how when Boston was at that phase I complained constantly and anticipated how nice it was going to be when I didn't have to carry that heavy carseat around.

Common phrases that I use over and over again are "In retrospect it wasn't that bad", "looking back on it.." Or "I can't wait for..." My current goal is to live in the now and enjoy the current phase. Although I do miss the times from when Boston was small and I look forward to the things she can do in the future I need to appreciate the present.

Do you listen to country music? If not you should.. There is a song by Trace Adkins that I love called You're gonna Miss This the chorus goes like this :

****

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days

Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

***

Look up the whole song, it's so great. The whole time I was in high school I couldn't wait to get out of the house and be independent. Now I can't imagine how nice it would be to just go to school and not worry about bills or life and come home after to a meal made by my mom. I didn't enjoy pregnancy, and yes that's mostly because I was mentally stressed to the limit and physically the sickest I had ever been. Now I look back and think to myself how nice it was, Boston was just mine, I hadn't shared with the world yet, every kick or movement she made it was just me who knew about it.

So, no more looking back and no more anticipating I am focusing on now (or at least I am going to try hard to). I love that Boston cuddles, I love how she says, "Mommy" I love how much she is learning. I love that the rain made her so excited and nervous at the same time. I love all of the friends we have made and I love that my family is always there for us. There will be great times ahead and there were amazing times we had but right now things are pretty great, too. The current season is what I need to focus on and enjoy. It's hard to completely enjoy the sun if you have never been in the cold.

XO:

Ashlynn&Boston BRONSON