*Defining Feature

A few years ago I had a group of friends where each one had what we called their 'defining feature'. One girl had amazing, long, thick, perfect hair, one had the most awesome legs, one was known for being a 'gym rat', one a party girl, and one had really full, pouty lips. I was telling them one day how I was jealous that I didn't have one feature that was my 'defining feature' when the girl with the perfect lips told me how it was annoying to have that be the main adjective people use to describe her. There are countless other other things that were great about her (she had a 4.0 at all times and was an excellent cook just to name a few) but most people described her as just the girl with the big lips. 

I was remembering this story when one of my friends came into my mind. Monica grew up in the same town as me but was a few years younger. Although I didn't know her that well while in high school she reached out to me in a time I really needed it. When Boston was about ten months old I was going through a pretty rough patch in my life... I spent more time being sad and upset than not and it seemed like every day was an uphill battle. This girl could tell and she reached out to me. She became a friend, a confidant, someone who encouraged me, an occasional babysitter and a listening ear. If I were to describe her 'defining feature' I would say it would have to be her kindness and her huge amount of empathy she has for everyone. She has one of the biggest hearts in the world. She could easily be one of the most sincerely nice people I have ever met. What I didn't tell you about this girl is that she is also gay, and that I know their are some people who would use that as her 'defining feature'.  To me is no big deal, it isn't the part of her I focus on, actually its not even a part that crosses my mind that often, it's just a small part of what makes her up. She herself actually doesn't hold any type of press-conference to proclaim it, so why would others focus on it. She has a girlfriend who is just as kind as her. Someone's sexual preference being their 'defining feature' is just as absurd as someone's lips. I am aware now that my 'defining feature' to some is that I am  'single mom' and that's okay, its not a terrible one to have I suppose but I also love running, make pretty good scrambled eggs and am really good at trivia.

 I know that I am just as guilty as giving one attribute to describe a person when there really is so much more and such better things to focus on besides the one that sticks out sometimes the easiest. 

I am aware that their are a lot bigger problem in the world to focus on and it seems like something so little but something the majority of us do. If anything this post is just a little reminder for myself to be more cautious of people's feelings and what I choose to hand out and describe as someone's 'defining feature'.

XO:
Ashlynn&Boston
BRONSON