Boston's 'dad

With Fathers Day approaching I have found a lot of people asking me about Boston's 'dad. Yes, she has one... she wasn't just dropped off by a stork...When I post on Father's Day I want to take the time to post about my own dad but I decided to write this up... These are just  a few of my views on what is okay to say to parents who aren't together.

•I obviously understand that because scientifically/biologically/genetically Boston has a 50/50 chance of looking like both of us. Sometimes I look at her and think to myself that she looks just like me and someone's I look at her and she looks just like him. Obviously I didn't have a problem with him aesthetically so if she has some of his features it doesn't upset me. But what is annoying is when someone will come up to me and tell me that. I'm pretty positive he would feel the same way. Have tact when you are engaging in that conversation with a set of parents who arnt together.

•Sometimes you will want to come up to me and tell me something about him. I will probably listen and I might even laugh. BUT if you have anything negative to say about him, please don't say it in front of Boston. I am hopeful that he would feel the same as well. Bost is two now and she understands a lot. If she has bad feelings towards either of her parents I want it to be formed by her own perception and experiences. Kids now-a-days have enough problems and issues to deal with why would I want to put one on her on top of all of the worldly ones?

•People have asked frequently if him and I fight a lot. Don't ask parents that... And, no we don't. I speak to him six times a year. It is cordial and nothing really more. Occasionally a few times extra if I help Boston FaceTime him on her birthday or Father's Day. If we fought the few times we saw each other it would be in front of Boston and I would never want her to see that... Which brings me to my next point... 

•For a long time I thought I hated him till I realized that for me to fully love Boston as much as I do it would be impossible for me to hate her 'dad. I don't particularly like him a lot, if I made a list of my top favorite 100 people I met.. No, he would not be on there. But out of those 100 people none of them are partially responsible for my baby... So I can't hate someone who is the father of my child.

•I like to give myself a lot of credit... Saying that I play the mom and dad role for Boston... Because for the most part and for now I do. I think we added and last year I had her 98.5% of the time. I am able to give credit where credit is due though and he does have a good job and he now pays child support and I really know that he loves her and when he does see her he tries. 

I heard a saying once that say's, "time heals all wounds unless you pick at them". It's so true... I was wounded pretty bad BUT that was two years ago and I'm past that... Until people bring it up to me all the time; don't pick at my scars. 

•Do I like all the people in his life? No, nor am I expected to or have been given any reason to. It literally has no impact in my life and a very moderate impact on Boston's. 

Boston and I will spend Father's Day weekend with my family and I will probably write about how awesome my dad that died when I was ten and my dad that raised me are.  Do I hope he has a good Fathers Day weekend? Sure, why not, but I am obviously not sending him a card and new golf clubs from Boston. Michael will see her for a weekend in a few weeks. It makes me happy if when she does see him she is happy and having a good time. What parent wouldn't want their child to be happy?...

Basically my life can be summed up by saying it didn't go how I thought it would and that's okay...

It's not the perfect situation but it's ours. As long as I keep on raising a happy, healthy, well rounded child that is the best I can hope for. 

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Ashlynn