The other day Boston and I were getting ready to go to the pool. I put her in her adorable little pink tutu swimming suit, packed our swim bag full of the essentials and then went to put mine on. After I put it on I looked in the mirror... (Oh man sometimes I hate mirrors). I was pretty disappointed in my reflection and wasn't really happy with the body I was looking at. I had a private war that began to wage within my mind debating if we should skip out on the pool today since I didn't really feel comfortable or if I should just go.
Was being self conscious a good enough reason for my baby and myself to not get to have a fun day out? (I hope that I am not the only mom who has ever dealt with this issue). A few weeks prior to this we went swimming with a group of friends and this same issue arose. I opted to stay out of the water and watch Boston from the side in my swimsuit cover up because of feelings of inadequacy. It's extremely hard in our social media driven world we live in now to see other moms who seem to always look perfect weather it's in heels (I only own one pair) or with their perfect swimsuit bodies. I have had to learn to not compare my worst moments to others bests. Really, no one posts a picture of a failure they have or day where they don't feel like they look somewhat great and/or are doing something social media worthy.
After a heated debate in my head one side finally came out victorious... Boston is who I am going to the pool with and who I am going to the pool for. She could care less if I am 100 pounds or 500 pounds; she just wants her mom. It's not about any issues I may have, it's about her. Once I reassured myself of this way of thinking playing in the water with Boston has been so much more enjoyable. I want to model a healthy and positive image for her. I don't want her to ever see my feelings of being inadequate in any aspect of life and for her to copy them. I NEVER want Boston to hear me belittle myself. I am a firm believer that children mimic so much of what they see their parents do. Show your children how to feel about themselves by example. Girls don't just simply decide to hate or love their bodies, we teach them.
So, I am taking a pretty big step... I am sharing a picture from the day that the debate happened in my head (you can totally zoom in and see love handles and a stretch mark or two)... Put on your suit, have fun with your baby, it's really about them, about you and them, and the fun memories you are making. Don't watch the fun feeling nervous from the sidelines, be a part of the fun. I am proud of my body, it may not be the thinnest and its not the most toned, but it created my perfect baby and it carried my perfect baby for nine months. So, for that reason alone I will always be proud of it and what it is capable of.
XO:
Ashlynn
No comments:
Post a Comment