Last night we had a cookout with our friends Sam, Dayne, Savannah and Lynzie. It was perfect... Good company, perfect weather, amazing food and Dayne and Savannah even have a little river in their back yard.
At about 8pm I made a comment about how it was so nice outside still. I love this time of the year when it's light longer but instead of being able to enjoy it I just fast forwarded in my mind to the time of the year when it gets dark at 5pm and I automatically got really stressed out. I don't know why I am so unable to enjoy the moment I am in but I can't. Instead of focusing on the good moment I feel like I am constantly being nostalgic or being stressed or excited about the future. Does this happen to anyone else? I feel like it has gotten worse for me when I became a mom. In school we learned about the 'stress cycle' and I swear I am constantly on the higher levels of stress even when I shouldn't be. Whenever I am with Boston and life is perfect instead of enjoying it I am always worried I will never get a moment like it again and I get worried. Seriously on days when its sunny and nice out I get stressed if Boston and I don't do an outside activity because I get worried that it might not be sunny again for a few days and I may have wasted a beautiful day indoors.
Minus my constant anxiety Boston and I have just been loving summer! We will post some of our recent adventures tomorrow. Seriously though I have been trying for years to figure out how to just live in a moment and I can never seem to get it down so if you have any advice send it my way!
XO:
Ashlynn&Boston
BRONSON
A Facebook friend (Alicia Lesser) posted a link to your blog and I decided to read it. I hope you don't mind, because we don't know each other, but I understand how you feel and I have had many moments like you described here; moments that are so perfect and so beautiful you never want them to end, but they are somehow ruined by the fear and anxiety that you won't experience them again. I'm not a 'live in the moment' kind of person, but I agree with you that there has to be a way to at least enjoy the moments and focus on the present rather than constantly stress about the future. For me, I feel like I just have to take one day at a time, I keep long-term goals in the back of my mind so I don't become too short-sighted, but the best way that I have found to savor those moments is to keep my schedule open. I'm one of those people who is always running around in a hurry with less time than items on my To-Do List. But if I can keep my To-Do List of things that need to be accomplished today down to only a few things (work, clean one thing around the house, do one thing I enjoy, prepare/eat one good meal, etc.) then it seems like I have an easier time allowing myself to enjoy those moments. It's not always that easy, but for me it has worked. I don't have children yet, so our sources of anxiety are likely different, but maybe this could help? Another thing that I like to do when I feel stressed and anxious and out of balance is to make a list of all the things that make me happy or are going well in my life. Some days the list is longer than others, but I like to put my lists on post-it notes and put them up all around my mirror in the bathroom so that everyday when I wake up and get ready, I am reminded of the things that bring me up, rather than bring me down. It helps me out 'in the moment' sometimes, to think of those things (think of your beautiful Boston), close my eyes, and take a deep breath. And sometimes, it makes those hard moments (that sometimes last for days on end) a little easier to handle.
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