But you dated her...

I am writing this at midnight, ya know why?... Because for some reason sleep just doesn't come to me anymore, ever. I'm literally always so dang tired but I can NOT fall asleep. Caffein in the morning and melatonin at night, it's a stupid cycle. So, instead of just wishing for sleep I decided to do a little blog therapy on what I decided REALLY is a huge, gigantic turnoff. 

When you meet someone you usually do the normal small talk...ya know, where they are from, their siblings, hobbies, job... just the basics. After a little while you get a little more personal.... high school stories, favorite bands, maybe politics... From there it always gets brought up... "So, what about your previous relationships...?" I, first off, let people know that I was married... and try to scare them off slightly and let them know it wasn't to Boston's 'dad... But, I let them know that he is a really cool guy, I don't have any hard feelings towards him, occasionally we talk, we usually shoot each other a happy birthday text and we were just young, we dated young, and we are completely different people now. Then they usually ask me about Boston's 'dad... Until I know the person A LOT better I say I prefer to just not talk about him and leave it at that. 

So, to get to what really really is a giant turnoff for me is when I turn the question around and ask them about their past relationships.... "Well, I had this girlfriend and she was completely ... crazy" (we can substitute crazy for almost any word, 
most of us have heard it all...). She is crazy? Unless she burned your house down (which I am assuming she probably had a reason to... not even a crazy woman goes crazy for no reason) she probably wasn't that bad. You might might like to call her easy, bratty, crazy, jealous or whatever words you like to use to describe an ex, but you dated her... Buck up.. be a man, it didn't work out and that's cool because then someone else gets the chance to see if it works out with you but do the lame cop out. 

I don't want to sound like a hypocrite I have said less than stellar things about a certain 'baby daddy' (which I later regretted) but I think it's because on rare occasions I have to have forced plesnentries with him for the sake of our daughter. 

I have been hanging out with someone and the ex question got brought up.. It was such a nice surprise when his response in regards to who he was with for a few years was, "she is a cool girl it just didn't work out." I really digged his response.

So, guys, the next time you decide to go on about how she is crazy, jealous, bratty...ect. just remember you dated her.

XO:

Ashlynn