The past bit I have been feeling a bit discouraged and slightly unqualified with my mom abilities. I was sick a weekend ago so when Boston woke up I poured her some cereal and watched cartoons on the couch and that's about all we did ALL day. I decided I needed to try to step up my game so, the next day I decided to do more. I attempted to have us make homemade play dough... It turned out horrible and we had to throw it out. That night I took a Facebook quiz about how many kids I should have and it told me that I wasn't maternal enough and I should just have a cat (in my defense one of the questions was if I like mini vans and another was how much sleep do I crave a night...) The next day we next went to Wal-Mart which ended up being a nightmare. I got out and realized I left my wallet at home.... So, I shut the door with my keys and Boston still inside. I hurried and called the police and it only took them ten minutes to get there while I stood out the rain waving to Boston inside the car. That left me pretty embarrassed and humbled. I gave it another shot the next day and I took Boston to get a snow cone. While we were waiting in line Boston threw herself on the ground and started a pretty big tantrum. I was embarrassed on what the other parents there were thinking of me and I thought to myself how lately with some of her fits she was throwing it was making it hard for me to be the mom I want to be.
There are so many moms I look up to... Ya know, the 'supermoms'.. Not only does their play dough work out and they don't accidently lock their child in the car but they always look flawless, they make amazing food, they sew, they do it all. I get caught up in that and I feel like I constantly have to prove my motherhood abilities to them and
everyone else. It has taken me two and a half years to finally realize the only person I need to prove myself as a parent to is my child.
everyone else. It has taken me two and a half years to finally realize the only person I need to prove myself as a parent to is my child.
I took a step back and looked at the situations differently. Boston probably thought the cereal and cartoons all day was fun. Even through the play-dough didn't work out we had fun trying to make it. She wasn't mad about being stuck in the car, she thought it was funny mom was out in the rain dancing for her. I know she doesn't care if her food is organic or if her moms hair is done perfect. My fondest and most vivid memories of my own mom while growing up aren't memories of her buying me toys but of her taking the time to play with me.
Although, I would love to see myself from another moms point of view, in reality the only point of view I should be concerned with when talking about my parenting is Boston's. I'm doing my best and my best is probably different than someone else's best it's my best. We are all just trying, ya know. I heard once that comparison is the thief of joy... I agree with that statement completely. I might have an off day or a bad week but it's not a bad life.
I made myself a little promise that I won't let my insecurities get the best of me when it comes to raising my child.
I made myself a little promise that I won't let my insecurities get the best of me when it comes to raising my child.
XO:
Ashlynn&Boston
BRONSON
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