Big Hero 6 is about a young, adolescent boy, Hiro Hamada, who is extremely smart but headed down the a not so bright path. With the help of his older college age brother, Tadashi, Hero sets his mind on getting into an amazing college. The parents of these two have died and they have been living with their aunt so their relationship is extremely close. The night that it is known that Hiro can get into this college a terrible accident happens and Tadashi goes in to help resulting in his death. Hiro sulks, he is sad, he is angry and he is confused... that is until he stumbles along his brother's last invention before passing, Baymax, a lovable, large somewhat robotic invention with the purpose to help people. Hiro uses his insane knowledge to tweek so things around Baymax and use him for his own good avenging the person responsible for his brothers death.
This movie actually came out in 2014 but, like I have posted before Boston picks a movie and lucky for me we watch it more times than I can count. So, when we were watching it the other night I started looking past my obvious crush I have on Hiro's older brother and how adorable Baymax is and started seeing it for what it really was about... Forgiveness and overcoming hurt.
I have been hurt. Bad. Like worse than I ever imagined it would be possible for me to be hurt. I have cried myself to sleep and I have gone with out Boston being able to see my eyes and the crack in my voice to hide sadness from her. Besides the drama I (try not to often) post about me and my antagonist I started to see that the issue there is trivial and basically annoying and the real issue is I'm not over the hurt. Over the person but not over the hurt. Maybe it hurt worse because it had to do with my daughter, I am assuming that is the key issue why. We actually had to hash this out and talk about our feelings with each other and I was surprised at the mean, spiteful and angry words that came out of my mouth with no emotion behind them. In my head while I was saying them I kept thinking inside my head, "I shouldn't be saying this" "I was raised to be so much better than this" and lastly "my parents would be so disappointing".... I am like Hro.... I held on to anger, I wanted someone to feel absolutely, painfully depressed and outright unimaginable torn down like I once was. I might have achieved that on that night with him. I wanted someone to hurt... because something I have learned in my life is that, 'hurt people hurt people'... most people don't become vindictive when they are given flowers but they become vindictive when given bombs. At the end Hiro moved more towards forgiveness and past his hurt when he realized the saying as well about hurt people hurting people. The person who hurt (killed) his brother, the person he loved more than any other person in his life, was also someone who had been hurt along his lifetime with un-comprehensible pain. He couldn't change the past. No matter what type of pain he caused on the one who hurt him it would never erase the fact that his brother was gone, it could never make the initial pain go away....so, as hard as it was he moved on. He had to let it go. He went ahead and decided that situation would make him better and not bitter.
Yes, Hiro is a cartoon and emulating a cartoon is the hardest thing to do... I will never be able to sing like Ariel and my hair will never look like Elsa's but it gives us something to evaluate and see what we need to do work towards those things. Do I like Boston's dad?..... I can't say he is my favorite person and I don't feel bad writing that because I am about 118% certain his answer is along the lines as mine. Did he hurt me? Yes. Did I hurt him? I have. I can't change what happened. I can't make the hurt disappear but I can work on trying to make that situation leave me better not bitter.
In the movie Hiro had an, "ah-ha" moment when he knew forgiveness and change were the only ways to really heal. Cartoon movies, movies in generally, leave us feeling that we need that "ah-ha" moment, too, but usually it is never the case. I guess for me the big moment came for me while watching a child's movie and seeing it differently.
Do I think our daughter loves us both? Of course she does. She loves us completely differently but both none the less. I think I am her comfort, her constant, her home... so that changes things. Although their are tears shed by her when she isn't with mamma and it hurts I have no choice to believe and trust that she will be in good hands with her other parent. Just like he has to trust that I am raising our daughter the absolute best I can and am able to. Maybe in the scheme of things those are my "ah-ha" moments. I'm not the type of person who just hands out, "I forgive you" cards easily and forgetting is honestly so much easier said than done but when you realize the person who hurt the very most also loves the person whom you love more in the entire world as well you just have to move forward and just hope for the best.
XO:
Ashlynn
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