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Today is March 3rd....it's pretty insignificant. But, in ten days from now it will be March 13th... which if you know my family that is the anniversary of the day that changed my families lives. On March 13th we lost my dad, Michael Bronson. I don't want to go into the details on here but I will say I was young, it was overwhelming and it was scary.

A question I frequently get asked when I let someone know my father died, after the awkward sorry they give me, is if I miss him. Here is where I am going to be honest... No, I don't miss him. Please before judging that answer ask yourself if you miss someone from your childhood that you don't really remember. Missing him might be the wrong wording... It is so difficult to miss someone you don't remember and truthfully my memories of him arn't actually my own but things that have been told to me by family members. Bitter may be a better word... My dad was extremely smart and I was bitter I didn't have him around to help me with math in high school. I was bitter that my sisters knew him better than I did because they are older. I was bitter that it seemed unfair that my dad died when plenty of my friends still had their dad.

I think this has been on my mind a lot lately for the obvious reason of March 13th looming around the corner but also because I have been witnessing so many people with unfair trials and sadness in their lives. While I was far away into my thoughts the other night my stepdad, Kevin, popped into my head. He is kind, he is hardworking, he has been my dad for a long time now and if my dad, Michael, hadn't passed away I would have never got the oppurtunity to have my dad, Kevin, in my life. I was talking to my dad, Kevin, the other day when he let me know that he had met my dad, Michael, just a few months before he passed away. I found a lot of comfort in this... like it was meant for him to be in my families life and my dad, Michael, was giving him a nod of approval. 

I guess this post is confusing... and it's actually not even as much about the passing of my dad as it is about sometimes bad things happen, things we wish didn't have to happen, so that something else good can come into our life. I hope that makes sense... If something has happened in your life that is currently rough it won't make sense to you right now and I respect that. But, I guess for me instead of looking at it as losing my dad at a young age I am now able to look at it as getting to have a great dad when I was a child and being able to meet a great dad that raised me into adulthood. 

Ashlynn