Getting rid of the Negativity

A few years back I took a human behavior class. I learned something really applicable to my life these days in it. No matter how much you may dislike/despise/disagree with someone if you can find three positive traits about that person it will actually be good for you and take away some of the negativity they may bring to your life.

I started out with a general public figure, whom I am not particularly fond of, the current President of the United States of America.... I disagree on many of his policies but I came up with this:

1: He seems to be a family man.

2: He had a humble beginning and is now the leader of the free world.

3: He has proven to be an amazing orator (speaker).

Then I tried it with someone with a little more personal connection to me: Bostons "dad". I know at a point there were a plethora of things I did enjoy about him but over events they have vanished, even with that I still came up with three:

1: He has extremely nice teeth

2: He is a good dancer

3: He is a driven and hard worker.

 Although I have butted heads with his family I was able to come up with (more than three) actuall positives.

1: His mother is an excellent elementary teacher; I have heard that from many.

2: His siblings, who are actually nice to me, are all very athletic.

3: His father is a hard worker and provides for their family.

I felt better after compiling that list and some of the negativity I have felt left. There was a final person I tried extremely hard to compile a list for, literally I thought and thought for hours and couldn't muster up anything, hopefully in time I can.

***Which brings me to my point for today's post. I am going to rewind to November 1st of 2012. Boston's dad had a two and a half hour visit with her. At the time she was not a mobile baby. She came home after that short amount of time crying and whimpering. I rocked her and tried soothing her till finally I decided to give her a bath since she loves them. As I was getting her ready I found a large bruise on the inside of her arm. I am aware that accidents happen so I messaged her "dad"... With zero response for days. I was advised to contact the DCFS for them to look into the situation. They did and at the time her "dad" was saying that he wanted to sign over his rights.

I had a picture of the actual bruise that I am sure many of you have seen and I chose to not post that on this post since it was a very hard time in my life and I am hoping to not relive it.

 I went to court on December expecting that to happen and instead was informed that he no longer wanted to and DCFS had cleared him to see her. That same night my car tires were slashed and I had to file a police report. I am lucky that my dad is amazing and came down quickly to fix it when I called him in tears...I can not claim that it came from his direction because I will never know, but I was suspicious. 

That Saturday morning he picked her up for his first short visit in over a month and a half. After a half hour I started to panic and had a real panic attack. I called him to ask how she was and he didnt answer. I text him a few times and he didnt answer only finally gave me a mere "fine". I told him if he couldn't just give me an update I would call till he did. He then had me charged for electronic harassment. 

I had to go get "booked" for it recently, I just went on my lunch break, it took all of 20 minutes. Im not drunk or under any sort of indluence in it and I wasnt taken in, I drove myself over. It was actually a very interesting experience and informative since my current minor in school is criminal justice, the staff even offered to show me some other aspects of what they do. I chose to look at the bright side of that situation.

I went to court for it and do you know what happened.... Nothing... Not one thing. There had been chances of a fine and the Judge asked if the "dad" was caught up on child support, I let him know that it was finally being garnished but not caught up and any fine that could have happened was dismissed., The judge after seeing everything was almost amused by this, I had zero repercussions.  I was actually told that I could retaliate and press charges against him since he gave the police officer false information stating me as his "ex wife" and that he had custody, both extreme lies. I chose not to, only for he reason I am tired of fighting. The indaviduals in front of me were all there facing, theft, DUI's and possission of illegal substance's, I am sure the judge found my situation entertaining; he was also able to pull up that I have a very clean record, (no speeding tickets even, only because I am a terrible driver and am a slow driver) and he was even able to see that I have made the Deans List twice, and no I will not apologize if that sounds vain, I studied and I earned it.

I have had to contact authorities a few times to have an officer contact his current wife to have her stop contacting me and even my mom (seriously, my mom is amazing)... I have chosen to not press any charges since it is basically pointless and I don't encouraging wasting money on very trivial things.

This is brought up today because this same girl is having a fun time bullying me with it... So I will do everyone a solid and post the picture... I had a hard time not laughing during it and I was taking a break from work so it's clearly not my most photogenic picture, if I would have known she was going to be having such a fun time with it, I probably could have dressed up and did my makeup. I am sure my parents weren't super proud but in January it is off my record, and I reminded them at least they arnt Billy Rae Cyrus... Anyways I hope she continues to harass me with it, it's always a pleasure {huge insert of sarcasm}...The only thing I was guilty of was being an extremely protective mom while sending my child with someone I didn't/don't trust .... I'm sure any mom reader of this blog would have done the same.

Here ya go... enjoy

Once again, I hope it makes a tad bit more sense on why I struggle finding the three positives for some people... I too was clearly appalled like all of you when she stated "she has a hard time sharing my baby (whom she hardly see's) and she wants to be the one to dress her and do her hair and be a mother figure to her..." {I got plenty of creeped out messages from that}. 

I have a baby that I adore, a life I love, friends that are supportive and family that always has been there for me.... I am happy... so happy and I am sick of constantly trying to be torn down because of it.