ASHLYNN & BOSTON: the Past

I am huge on keeping journals. I legitimately go through a huge book every six months and completely fill every single corner of it up, with quotes, song lyrics, what is going on in my life at the time, basically everything that is on my current blog but A LOT more personal.

  I love when I find my old journal and read over them, I love remembering all of the old memories. While I was pregnant with Boston I would write to her every night. I wrote about finding out she was a girl, how helpful her grandpa and grandma Ogden were, and how excited her big cousins were to meet her. I wrote to her how nervous I was I be her mom and hoped I would be good enough for her.

I was having a great time reading Boston's book... And then I found my journal from two years ago... I literally want to go back in time, track myself down, rip off my own arm, and beat me repeatedly with it...

 For over a year I lived with two of my really good guy friends, Dayne and Sam; they were basically like my brothers. I am 98.12% certain Dayne & Sam don't read my blog, but if for some reason either of you two do... How did you guys not kill me? I found in a page me writing, " Dayne and Sam left the living room so dirty! I am so stressed they did it just I bug me...". THAT was what made me so stressed?! A dirty living room...

I wish I could go back and re-make so many decisions... So many of them wouldnt have gotten me Boston so with that I wouldn't change a lot. Here is what I have learned though.

*If you have a feeling that someone or something is not good... WALK AWAY that moment! Don't wait assuming that they will change.

*Before being dramatic of upset about a situation think to yourself... "will this matter 5 years from now?" If it will, then by all means, be dramatic and as mad as you want; if not cool down a bit before you act.

*Really good friends are in more then one journal, they are amazing when they stick around through a couple; but family will be in all of them.

Before I continue to wish I could change the past, because frankly it kind of hurts, I remember a quote from my favorite Disney movie, The Lion King.... "Oh, yes, the past can hurt. But we can either run from it or learn from it..." And I guess I am lucky to have so much to learn from.