One year older and wiser, too

I love birthdays. So much that's annoying. There is an age that most people stop getting so excited about birthdays... For most people that age is around  15 (yes, I conducted a survey for that) For me I still have yet to hit that age. The night before I turned 12 my older sister, Emily, got engaged and I was so upset at her and her husband, Kyle, for "stealing my thunder"... Im glad Im not as much like that now. My birthday is tomorrow and like typical Ashlynn fashion I am pumped. I have no huge plans set. Laying out like I do every year with the baby bopper during the day, family stuff, and going out that night (cue the bitter girl crying that I'm a "bad mom", lots of parents, even married go out for their birthday).

I even made a collage of my last four birthdays.

Now don't get me wrong I am still excited as ever to be one year older and wiser.... and eat cake... But I got thinking when I found this stupid old note I found that I wrote to myself when I was 18 of what I figured my life would be like now.... Spoiler alert... It's nothing like that. I have a failed marriage under my belt, (I actually don't consider it too failed since we remain friends and I learned a ton) 3/4's of a college degree, a fatherless baby... I mean when you write it out like that I am clearly a failure... Don't misread that in any way Boston is a huge accomplishment and I wouldn't change her in for a million college degree's.

This silly 18 year old had no idea about the future..

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels un-accomplished  at times... That dumb note put a huge damper on it. If having things turn out the way you pictured them is a measure of a successful  life then some would say I'm a failure, I've learned to not be bitter over life's disappointments and to let go of the past. Maybe you will get everything you wished for or maybe you will be lucky, like me, and get even more.

The day before my birthday every year I write in my journal everything that has changed or what I accomplished or didn't. I read last years just barely; last year  I wrote about how I got the shit beat out if me emotionally, physically, and mentally, and how I handled it all calmly, quietly and classy. This year I got most of my health back, I have had ups and downs, amazing moments with Boston, and not the best moments (hello, the "father" of my child got someone else pregnant and married when she was a few months old.... slap in the face, right?...

I'm going to laugh the day Bost finds this funny like I do) and I decided to be vocal about them. Abe Lincoln said "being honest wont get you a lot of friends but it will get you the right ones." I have lost people and gained awesome new ones, and I have had times where my grace was gone.., truth is... I don't regret any of it for one second!

Bring on the next year, I can't wait to see what changes are in store. I plan on kicking the trash out of it, with my little homegal by my side. Smile; your enemies hate it.

... And trust me on the sunscreen ;)

XO:

Ashlynn&Boston BRONSON