The thing that you walk away from that movie is somewhat of an understanding that 'evil' or 'bad' people usually aren't just that way their whole lives but that certain circumstances led them to be closed off, calloused or cold. In an odd way I felt like I really related to Maleficent... She was betrayed by someone she trusted; she was hurt. I have never had wings chopped off like she did but other pieces were taken away from who I was. In the movie she screamed, she turned completely evil, and she cast a curse... Clearly, I didn't do those things but I cried and hurt none the less. I know that this may come off extreme but I had moments when I was so sad, so devastated, so upset and so torn that my body literally hurt. To this day if I hear certain smells or hear certain songs a trigger goes off and I remember for just a moment the exact feeling I had when the devastating events happened to me. I remember feeling betrayed when I learned that Boston's dad had been sleeping with someone while I was pregnant with his child and feeling like I would never be able to deal with the sadness.
Although it was a fictional movie something else I found interesting was the fact that it took Maleficent 16 years (that's the age Auroa was when the curse was to take place) for her to finally move on from the hurt and betrayal she felt. Even with it being fictional it helped reiterate in my brain that every single person moves on from hurt at their own pace and in their own way. Whoever said, "time heals all wounds" must not have been wounded very badly.... or maybe they were just better at letting go of the past; I guess everyone heals at their own pace. In the movie the king, the one who betrayed her and stole her wings, also hurt. Maybe from guilt maybe from fear... who knows but most the time nobody wins in certain situations.
I am a vocal person... I like to express myself... I am also a person that realizes that some times it is best to keep some things to yourself. Ernest Hemingway once said, "Write hard and clear about what hurts" I have been doing this for a few years now.... I have a Boston journal... It is a journal I started keeping for her while I was pregnant for her to read when she gets older about how her dad and myself met, the good times of my pregnancy, how she was named, the amazing people who supported us and other happy milestones. Currently I write in it how she is progressing and things she does and things she likes. I keep this book separate from the book I write in to help myself clear my head... In that book I have been writing 'hard and clear what hurts'... It is filled with tear stained pages reminding me of anger infused moments and letters to people that will never be sorry, letters that I will never send. It is therapeutic for me. After seeing Maleficent I realized it's okay if I am somewhat still hurt, it takes time to get over severe pain and sadness. But if you hold on to that pain, hurt and anger for too long it consumes you and you end up mostly just hurting yourself. It's a process... it day-by-day slow process...I hope that one day I will hear certain songs and not sadly remember the tears that fell while I listened to them. Take time to heal, it will be worth it in the end... your wings may be taken from you but eventually you will either get them back or learn to survive without them.
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