What you allow will continue

I apologize in advance for my venting session you are about to read but here it goes....

Friday evening Boston's 'dad, Michael, came to get her for his two summer visit. This is a two week visit where she will stay with him but I will be with her for a lot of the time while he is at work. I had been telling her about it all week trying to get her excited her for it. She is only three and he has been someone who hasn't been a constant staple in her life with only six visits a year. So, although it is good she is spending time with him it is still hard on her. 

Six rolled around and he came here to get her and my heart had never hurt so bad in my entire life... she clinged to me, cried, begged me not to go. I swallowed every ounce of pride I had because I wanted my baby to be okay and sat and told her how fun he is and that mom likes him so much and it would be okay (he is a fun person and he does love Boston). While this was happening the woman he is with sat in the car, window rolled down yelling towards me. That isn't the environment I wanted to send my baby to and I honestly don't thing my heart has ever hurt so bad in my life. Many of you know who this woman is... every time he picks her up, just for precaution, I always have my my phone recording in case something like this happens and this time was no exception. An officer was also involved. Thank God I have that recording to have sent to my legal team. Imagine your own personal hell. Seeing my daughter cry that hard and be so sad. That was mine.

Here is a background story.... When I was seven months pregnant Boston's 'dad met her and for some reason she has gained happiness by relishing in that fact. I haven't been sad for one moment that him and I are not together, the only regret I have had is that my daughter doesn't grow up in a home seeing her parents together. On my first Mother's Day he actually gave me money to go buy myself and Boston new swimsuits. On his first Father's Day I actually had a custom engraved key-chain with Boston's birth date on it and a picture of her. We weren't together but we got along decently. I have done my best to let him facetime with her the past few years even though from what I have heard he had to hide it from her. 

I have even gone out of my way to show Boston pictures like this of her parents so she is more comfortable.

I truly try my best to get along with him because he is the father of my child and yet when I do say positive things about him she has tried twisting it to me still having feelings for him. I am not sure why she would prefer that him and I fight. It is becoming more and more clear that him and I being civil isn't the problem... You can tell a person is miserable with their own life when they go so far out of their way to try to destroy someone else's. 

I heard the saying once that what you allow will continue to happen... When we went to court recently we signed court papers, now signed by a judge that state that she can not post pictures of just her and Boston and if their are pictures that her and Boston were in together their would be no caption. Which for some reason this court order is just too hard for her to obey. Ironically, Michael, who hardly posts on facebook is now posting pictures of the her and Boston together... Let's be real and all acknowledge we know who is really posting it and know that I won't put up with it. I want my child to be happy when she is there, I truly do, but her constant lack of respect and posting misleading things need to be stopped. I am not allowing this... I have already re-started the court process because this is something I will not allow. A week ago my three year old cried to me telling me that this woman tried forcing her to call her mommy (a three year old... who saw this woman ten times in a two year period would not come up with that on her own). Once again, this is something I will not allow. If the two stay together their entire lives that is wonderful but a plethora of people heard her threaten divorce over her not being allowed to post things on social media. So, if the time comes that another woman enters her own childrens lives I am more than positive she would not be okay with that woman trying to force them to call her mommy.

So, this is probably the big dramatic post ya'll might have been waiting for but like I said, I am not going to be walked on and thankfully I have an awesome support system and one hell of an attorney that fights for me. Another battle that I am okay with fighting. Like I stated, more than anything I hope that when she isn't with me on occasions she is happy and loved and cared for but their also needs to be an element of basic respect that you are not the parent that needs to be followed. This woman is great at playing victim so give it a hot minute and somehow this will be my fault...  This is dramatic, I get it, trust me. But until you are in the situation please don't feel like it is something you would know how to handle. Sorry that this isn't a sunshine post and full of positive thoughts but eventually the rude behavior of others drains it out of you. I have done my best to sweep it under the rug but I am done at this point. Bottom line... I love my daughter, I am her biggest advocate, I want her to have a good relationship with Michael even though at times it is hard on me when she is away but I don't deserve to put up with this BS. My daughter will be with me tomorrow and it will be a good day.

ASHLYNN

This is my almost always happy daughter when I was trying to convince her that she would have so much fun with dad and that mommy liked him so much, too. The saddest thing in this whole situation is that Boston is the one who ultimately suffers.