It is beyond mind baffling how much little ears can pick up and how much they understand the adult they are always with. At that moment I vowed to myself that my insecurities would be my own and they would be used quietly in my own head while I tried my best to work them out.
That seemed like a very novel idea until remembering the type of person I am... I am the type of person who lets a little comment go, then adds on another and another and another until I finally lose my cool. People's opinions of what I am insecure about always get to me, which I mean, realistically that is fine, but when it could alter my daughters life, that isn't okay. I heard once that the sooner you accept your insecurities the sooner people can't use them against you. So, although I write a lot on this blog and I love sharing mine and Boston's lives with people, in person I am more of a shy person (I promise I am). I would like to share a few of my insecurities and if you are feeling bold I want you to as well. I am making a promise to myself that once they are down on this screen I will try my hardest to not let them out of my mouth because I never ever want my own perfect daughter to repeat them. If you have littles this could be a great exercise for you as well and I invite you to do it. Heck, if you do it, please tell me as well.
Here it goes:
*first off the teeth...
*my very thin hair.
*the fact that I am in my late 20's and always have zits
*my childs father started 'seeing someone while I was pregnant.
*no matter what I weigh I always have a double chin
*i am hold grudges. bad.
*i have a temper. a bad one.
*i am not saying I am overweight, but the easiest places for me to gain when are my stomach and arms. I wish I could be Beyonce or anyone famous right now for that matter and gain it in my booty.
*i am passive aggressive.
*i don't have a, "womanly shape"... I am shaped like a 12 year old boy, no hips, no breasts, they literally cracked my hips during child-birth.
*flat feet
*long toes
*my eyebrows are never on fleek (I honestly have no idea what "fleek" means I hear people say it a lot when they describe eyebrows and wanted to sound cool)..
*do I make Boston happy enough each day.. am I the best mother I can be to her.
I am a female so I could probably go on and on about things that I wish I could change about myself I am stopping at that though. The point is I never want to portray a negative self-image that I could project on to my daughter. EVER. Her little ears hear enough negative from the outside world that I only want her to hear positive from mine, pertaining not just to herself but to me as well. If you know mamma's that need to hear this or write down their own insecurities to get them out of their mouths and heads I would love for you to share this with them and if you are brave share your own insecurities to help erase them from their lives. Your misconstrued self-image should be the last trait you ever want to pass down to your child. Learn to be your best critic.
XO:
Ashlynn&Boston
BRONSON
& here are those teeth
I am a female so I could probably go on and on about things that I wish I could change about myself I am stopping at that though. The point is I never want to portray a negative self-image that I could project on to my daughter. EVER. Her little ears hear enough negative from the outside world that I only want her to hear positive from mine, pertaining not just to herself but to me as well. If you know mamma's that need to hear this or write down their own insecurities to get them out of their mouths and heads I would love for you to share this with them and if you are brave share your own insecurities to help erase them from their lives. Your misconstrued self-image should be the last trait you ever want to pass down to your child. Learn to be your best critic.
XO:
Ashlynn&Boston
BRONSON
& here are those teeth
Ps don't get me wrong I have some things that I think I really rock at as well. I am just my very own worst critic and I am working on fixing that, not only for me, but for my daughter. to add.... I am amazing at taking tests, I am usually pretty empathetic, I really like my eyes and my skin tone, I can play the piano...try to make sure those are the things your kids hear out of your mouth. Easier said than done... I get it.
My temper, cussing, my rear end and thighs. These are my insecurities.
ReplyDeleteI hate how huge my thighs are...no matter what I wear they are there and as big as life!!!! I hate how wide I look from the front. I'm okay with the side but the front....Wide load sign needed!!! When I smile I get this bulge under my eyes...It makes me look old. Those are some of mine!!!
ReplyDeleteWeight, my complexion, my teeth, ocd, temper
ReplyDeleteWeight has always been one of mine. I use to make myself throw up. My forhead. It is so hard for me to grow my bangs out because my mom always told me I had a big forhead and weird wrinkles like my grandpa. I have a pig nose. My arms are big. They giggle and don't fit cute in cute shirts. They have always been jiggly and no matter how much I work out or lift weights they are still big and jiggly (just with some definition haha). My belly. My thunder thighs! Seriousy, as a baby I won Miss Thunder Thighs. Who does that to a kid?! lol For some odd reason I always hated my knees. They are like double knees and not as cute as other girls. I have always hated my feet. Would not even wear Sandler until recently and only of my toes are painted. I fear I am not the same fun loving mom I was before my husband got sick. I worry I'm a bad wife because I don't keep my house clean.Hy hair use to be one of my favorite things about me but now it looks so dry and not like my hair.
ReplyDeleteI hate my weight
ReplyDeleteI hate my teeth. My parents could afford braces and now in my adult life I hate them more.
I hate my stomach. It's fat.
I am not good enough for my kids. I wish I was a better mom.
I don't feel like I do enough to take care of my house. I hate that I never have the energy to have my house as clean as I want it to be. I always worry about being good enough. Are my kids happy? Am I doing everything I can to help them succeed? Am I tough enough on them? Am I too tough? I hate my scar on my eye. It makes it droop. I hate that I have so much body hair. I mean, is this normal? I hate my mood swings. I hate my depression. I hate that I have PCOS. I am insecure about being good enough in everything. But really, I am good enough. And I love myself. And most of all, I love my kids and my husband. And I never want my daughter or sons to feel like they are not good enough. Or that they aren't as good as someone else. I promise to banish these insecurities to be uttered out loud. I will love me for the sake of my children's future. Thank you, Ashlynn!
My damn squinty eye everytime I smile.... There are more, but I'm working on being a positive person and not ever thinkin about the negative, so one comment is plenty!
ReplyDelete