I went to the hospital to have Boston on February 23, 2012 at about 3pm. At 4:57pm the following day she graced the world with her very anticipated presence. She had some little problems since I was in labor for such a long time so I didn't get to hold her right away but when I did it was such a surreal experience. I wasn't really even sure how to hold a brand new baby.
Boston spent the next week in the NICU and myself and her 'dad stayed at the hospital as well with her. I kept feeling like something wasn't right with me though but I assumed it was probably just because I had a baby and nothing more. She came home exactly a week after being born and I was lucky to have the help of my family. I was still not feeling up to par... I was so dizzy, still very nauseous and TMI but was still bleeding a lot. I called my Dr. to ask if these signs were normal since I was a first time mom and I was second guessing myself. The nurse I spoke to on the phone sort of made me feel stupid about my questions and told me it was normal. The Friday after we came home I was still just so sick and dizzy so I gave in and asked my mom to come stay the night and help me. She stayed there until Sunday letting me rest and helping so much with Boston. Sunday evening I told her I was okay and that she could leave. I am stubborn and I think I wanted to prove I could do it on my own. Sunday night it got really bad but I remember the nurse making me feel ashamed for my questions. I threw up, I was dizzy. I called Boston's 'dad to see if he could come watch her so I could go to the hospital finally realizing that my body was screaming for me to pay attention to it because it wasn't right. He wasn't able to so being prideful I decided I would just push through it. At around 10:30 I was changing my two week old and I blacked out. Luckily, at the time my upstairs neighbor was very motherly and loved checking on Boston and I often. She came down and knocked on the door. After no answer from me she came in, saw me on the floor promptly called 911, called my sister and comforted Boston. I will always be thankful for her help.
It turns out that a larger piece of placenta was left inside of me during Boston's birth and it was making me bleed excessively, causing the dizziness and it was slowly poisoning my system. I had an emergency surgery... After the surgery my sister brought my two week old baby to see me as the drugs were wearing off and I remember in my post surgery state being floored that the baby was mine. The next few weeks my mom stayed with us, cooking, cleaning and taking care of Boston and myself. When I woke up she would come put Boston in my arms... I was there but not really there because of the pain pills I needed to take.
I am writing this post not for any type of pity. I mean it was an event that happened almost four years ago, I'm good on sympathy. I think I felt compelled to share this memory to let people know that if you feel something isn't right... With your body or anything else in your life listen to your gut. Listen to what you are trying to tell yourself. Their might be 'nurses' or others telling you how you should feel or what is normal but trust your instincts, trust your gut. If it doesn't feel right don't try to make it be right.
Ashlynn
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