I spent most of this weekend in the hospital. Dad spent his time with me and you four didn't get to see either of us very much. Luckily, we have great family and you played with them a lot but I stole your time away from dad and our home and I feel terrible. I didn't do it on purpose and I know you aren't mad at me but I feel like I let you all down.
Three of you went left Monday and Boston... man, I'm sorry. Mommy lays in bed all this week and doesn't play. I know you have been worried about me so much and as much as I love your tender heart it makes my heart hurt seeing you so nervous. You crying at Aunt Alicia's house when you saw me in the hospital bed worried for me broke my heart. Thank you for patting my head and singing me songs to make me feel better. Nayvie, thank you for finding me Tums when I first got sick because you knew it was tummy medicine and you hoped it would make me feel better. Kinley, thank you for being so concerned and worried and checking in on me every few minutes and telling the other girls to be a little more quiet so I could rest. Tylee, thank you for all of the cuddles you gave me and coming in just to nap by me. Thank you for sharing dad with me, too. He has done so much for me and I can't even describe how much better life is with him in it. Thank you for being patient with me. I don't even know what I'm doing as a mom half of the time, I just guess and hope for the best.
I can't sleep and I'm hoping after the Dr. again tomorrow I will feel better (I'm nervous for it). I know these four little ones won't read this until they are older but when they do I hope they read it and know I appreciate them all so much and I do try my hardest.
Being sick is hard. Being a mom and being sick is the worst. Next week will be better.
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