THANK YOU

I was in a discussion with other some other women the other day about what the hardest part of motherhood was for each of us. I had my answer set in stone.... and it actually was that because I am a single mom I am used to doing everything for Boston and that has turned me into a 'helicopter parent' ... I hover over everything she does. It makes me so stressed when she gets a scratch, her feelings hurt, or sick and I didn't/couldn't stop it.

I think that most people thought that my struggle would have just been being a single mom. I was with my friend the other day who has two kids and one needed a diaper change. She picked him up and handed him to her husband and said, "here, it's your turn"... and he carried him in to change his diaper. It was seriously such a foreign concept to me to see someone else share the work of raising a child, simple tasks like making a bottle, giving a bath or changing a diaper. It didn't make me envious, because, like I said it was such a foreign idea...that is exactly why being a single mom isn't the hardest for me, because I have always been used to it and honestly, I think I like it. I like that Boston has only spent a few nights away from me in her life. I like that although our apartment isn't anything glamorous it is ours. It is where her first steps were taken, where she sneaks into the fridge almost daily to get into my diet coke, where she always tries to sneak into my bed, where she has colored on almost every wall, it is covered of pictures of us from the last three years and pictures that she has drawn herself, it is full of memories that the two of us, our family, have made. I would take the option of having changed every diaper because the option of not being the one to have done them is such a worst thought. Back to what I was saying, the hardest part for me is making sure I can do my best to protect her, and that will always be an uphill battle.

I guess with being a 'helicopter parent' I am also a 'helicopter person' so, nothing frustrates me more than not being able to control other peoples actions when they are so mean, when they are things that they arn't supposed to be doing. I obviously had a rough day yesterday...(like, if you followed my Facebook I'm sure you saw) but, I have been OVERWHELMED with how many nice people there are that have supported me during the bullying I got put thru, even people who I didn't even know that helped. Ya know, I can't pretend to be something I'm not right here. I can't post a religious quote that I goggled and I can't pretend that my life is sunshine and rainbows, I can only just try the best I can. I was lucky enough to have grade A parents and they tried their hardest to teach me how I should act so I disappoint myself when I let others actions cause mine to change. Soon people's lies are about to catch up to them If I were to just casually say, "thank you" that honestly wouldn't show my real appreciation. 

Boston and I are just watching Daniel Tiger and trying to figure out what to do for fun on this rainy day. We are enjoying the calm after the storm.

XO:
ASHLYNN&BOSTON
BRONSON