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A few years ago I was pregnant with my Boston... my Dr. would always prompt me to ask questions or ask if I wanted to take classes and I always politely refused. I knew I was going to have a baby and I just wanted to go in and get it over with. The human body and the way it works is something I am not fond of learning about. One day when I was around four months along I finally started to show and I felt a little kick for the first time. The realization came to me that this little baby was just going to get bigger and bigger before she made her entrance to the world through me and at that moment I was scared to death. The time kept getting closer to her arrival and I kept getting more and more nervous thinking of the pain and for me inevitable lack of body privacy. February 24, 2012 came.... and it was painful and it was hard and I slightly got over my lack of shyness with the human body.... & more than anything it was worth it. But something else happened... for those nine months she was just mine, her kicks were only mine to feel, her movements were only mine to feel and suddenly family and friends were wanting to hold my new baby; I was learning to share my prized possession.

Boston turned four this week and I honestly have been struggling with her growing and I find myself relating her growing up to me being pregnant with her. She is going to grow, she is going to change and at some point she wont just be mine any longer, my prized possession will make her own way in the world.... And just like labor it will be hard and painful but it will be worth it. I will know that I have done with her what I was meant to. 

I guess parenthood is a catch 22. It's soooo good yet so hard. She is four, she only 14 more years till she is an, "adult"... She will grow, she will get bigger and I will have to share her sweet soul at some point so for now I will do my best to never take for granted every kiss, cuddle and small moment.

XO:
Ashlynn