I'm Not a Single Mom

I'm not a single mom. That's still weird for me to say. I think the last four years that has been one of my defining titles. 

I was a single mom from day one so I never knew of any other way. I never knew of having someone else get up to check on Boston at night. I never knew of anything other than her and I. That's just how it was. I remember the first time I felt dismal about it was when she rolled over for the very first time. I was ecstatic and proud but at that moment I wished I had someone to share that excitement with. Little moments like that always seemed to creep up, her first steps, first words... I remember one night she army crawled into my room trying to sneak into bed with me and I laughed and laughed and then felt sadness wishing I had someone there to laugh with me.

I can't give you a pity story though... although Boston's dad moved and only saw her a handful of times a year the first few years of her life I was never without help. I always had a family member or friend who would drop whatever they were doing to help me. I received more gifts for her than I deserved and didn't spend a penny on diapers until she was 14 months old. Other women on my situation had it so much worse than I did but my family always made sure Boston and I never went without. In all honesty, the four years I spent as a single mom were some of  the best years (but still hardest) of my entire life. I learned so much about myself as a mother and as a person. 

So, I'm not a single mom anymore. I have someone to help me when Boston wakes up crying at night and I have someone to laugh with when she does funny things (she literally growled at Tanner and I at the dinner table the other night). In fact not only am I not a single mom but I have also got to welcome three more of the most amazing little girls into our home. We have found a new place to move into shortly and it's perfect. I couldn't be more excited to start this new chapter in my life but at the same time I am sad to leave our tiny little apartment where I first brought my baby home, where I watched her grow, learned how to be a mom and grew up myself. It's bittersweet... if that even makes sense. Do I still blog? Do I still keep the web address, "ashnbost.blogspot.com" ? How do I not overstep boundaries but include everyone fairly? How do I make sure to not hurt someone how I was hurt? So much to figure out. 

Every night I got to sleep with a smile on my face and am so thankful for the blessings I have. I heard once that God answers you in three ways...1- he says yes and gives you what you want 2- he says no and doesn't give you what you asked for or 3- he says be patient and gives you the best. I am glad I was able to be patient. I am not a single mom anymore but I am and will forever be thankful for what it taught me in the time I was.

XO:
Ashlynn