The ending of an era

Today was my grandma Darlene's funeral. It wasn't my best day I have ever had but strangely it wasn't my worst. I loved being told memories and stories of my grandma and grandpa, I loved remembering my own times with her. I hated seeing her small little body, which still was so pretty with her perfect hair and painted nails, just being so still, my grandma was never still. All of us grandkids and great-grandkids, ranging from 37 years old to one sang a song and it was such a overwhelming thing to look at our four set of parents, so proud of their posterity and so sad to have lost both parents. I loved seeing all of the people's whose lives were touched by my grandma and I loved seeing old pictures. It made me wonder what she and my grandpa acted like before I knew them... If I met them when they were the same age as I am if we would be friends. I hate when people tell me she is in a better place because the place she was at with all of us was pretty good. I am happy her and my grandpa are together again, I hope my dad gave her a hug. Today was good but today was also hard. The hardest part for me is that I feel like an era in my life has ended, I hate that I just have memories and pictures now. I just wish I could call her one more time or visit and joke and laugh with her.

My life will always be a little bit better because of the woman I got to call 'grandma'. 

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•family is so important 

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I wrote this about her last fall after a Sunday visit at her house.

http://ashnbost.blogspot.com/2013/09/grandma.html

My Grandma Taught Me

My grandma passed away Saturday morning at 10:14. My heart hurts but it helps ease the pain knowing she is with my grandpa again.

My grandparents taught me so much... So much. I could go on for days about lessons I learned from them. My grandma always taught me to help others and be kind to people, even the ones who weren't very kind themselves, because they were the ones who needed it most. My grandpa (tried his hardest) taught me about his love for nature, the outdoors and camping and my grandma taught me the best meals and treats to have while camping and how to keep your hair great while you were roughing it. My grandma helped me learn that I wasn't above anything from hard work, service, compassion or people. The list of what she taught is endless so I decided to get a little help from my family.

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•Grandma taught me how to serve and care about others. Anthony King

•Grandma taught me the importance of building good relationships with our neighbors.-Jake King

•Grandma taught me so much ,but one thing that she taught me was to work hard and be terrified of snakes.- Kayla King

•Grandma taugh me Love unprejudiced. Jer King

•Grandma taught me the meaning of "it's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice".-Alicia Lesser

•Grandma taught me that girls can have fun fishing, to be over prepared when it comes to camping and going on trips, to keep a perm worthy of fluffing, to make sure that lunch and dinner were ready when the guys came in from the fields, to serve till your hands shake, to love, to get out in the community, to take lots of pictures, to love your kids, have an attitude way bigger than your size (I think she was almost legally a midget but had the sass of a giant), to never waste, and of coarse some things just aren't worth a fart in a whirly wind. For some reason I was prompted to give her a call right before she got sick this last time. We had a great little chat and I feel like it was Heavenly Father giving me a chance to have one last good conversation and memory with her before he brought her back home. I love and miss my grandma.-Jason King

•My grandma taught me how to treat and serve others the way Christ would do. I know that I will have extra missionary companionship on the other side helping me with the mission work in Japan.-Andrew King (currently serving a mission in Japan)

•Grandma taught me that not only can you cheat at dominoes, but you can also get away with it in plain sight.- Taessia King

•Grandma taught me when the spirit tells you to call or visit someone. Listen. That person may need your kindness or love.-Gina King Garcia

•Grandma taught me that Sometimes it is the little things that mean the most to a person, because you can’t be everything to everyone, but you can make a huge impact by doing what you can for those you can do for. -Tosha King Williams

•My gradnma taught me what it means to serve others.-Courtney King

•Grandma taught me that the little things in life make the big difference. Whether it was showing up to my "anything/everything" performance, always having a treat for company (expected or not), or giving whatever she could even when it wasn't much by the world's standards. Grandma was even a little person, but she made a big difference in the lives of many.-Taylee King Beckstead

•Grandma taught me the value of compassionate service.  I loved to listen to her humor and her irony. She is the one lady that could tell me anything and I could take it. Like "oh hell emily you're pregnant again"...that was with my third kid. She laughed,hugged me, and congratulated me all at once I think she was my encyclopedia of knowledge. If I had questions concerning cooking, bottling,  visiting teaching ideas,  she was the best resource for it all. -Emily Chatterton

•Grandma taught me to always be kind and serve those around me. She simply taught me to be good. -Connor King

•My mother-in-law taught me how to serve others with a smile and willing heart.-Kathleen King

•My mom taught me how to have self confidence. -Chad King

•My mother-in-law taught me so many homemaking skills; she taught all of us the importance of service.-Alice King

•My mom taught me to be clean in dress apearance and spirit.-Darrell King

•My mother-in-law taught me to not stop because age say's you are old, you have so much to give.-Anne King. 

•My mom taught me that family being close makes the heart grow fonder.- Garth King

•My mother-in-law taught by her example that service is everything. She would honestly give anyone the shirt off her own back. You never left her house without dinner, snacks and lunch for the next day. -Kevin Ogden

•My mom taught me to serve others. Even as a little girl small impressions and lesson were being learned as I accompanied mom as meals or goodies were  prepared and  delivered to the new moms, those undergoing surgeries, those who lost a loved one or those who were just lucky enough to know her. -Eloise King Ogden

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If you ever met my grandma you will read this and agree with what an amazing woman she was and how great of an example she was to so many. 
We love you so much and we will always miss you! 

...her obituary 

http://m.legacy.com/obituaries/HJNews/obituary.aspx?n=Darlene-King&pid=170179728&referrer=1842&preview=True

My family

If you don't know my grandparents I can understand why you would be so confused on why loosing her is so hard on me so I wanted to explain. I don't go more than a day without seeing a member of my immediate family, we are very close and I am so thankful for that. My mom is the oldest and has three younger brothers, I love all three of my uncles and their spouses so much, along with all of my cousins. I know that if I needed I could call any of them right now and they would help me with whatever. I played and got into trouble with all of my cousins growing up and still to this day talk to a lot of them constantly. There was not one thing of mine that my grandparents missed, not a school play, church talk or dance recital.  We are a close family because that is how our grandparents raised us to be, our grandpa John and grandma Darlene knew what was important. I did very little with my dads side of the family growing up and mostly just considered my grandpa and grandma King my only grandparents; with losing her I don't have grandparents anymore...an even more strange thought is that my mom and her brothers don't have any parents alive anymore. I just sort of assumed that she would live to be 110, she has always been so healthy and full of life, there are so many more things I just knew she would be around for, there are so many times I am now regretting I didn't go see her or call her. 

I went and saw my grandma again today and my mom just sent me a message saying it was getting close. Instead of crying because she wont be with me anymore I decided I wanted to share some happy memories that I have of her... she lived a long life and a great one and that's what I want to remember.

*she never forgot anybody or any occasions. even while she has been in the hospital the last few weeks she has instructed my mom where cards, presents and money was that she had picked out for people getting married, having babies and celebrating birthdays. She is the most selfless person and she would go without to make sure anyone she met could have what they needed.

*she was always dressed so nice. It might be something with her generation but even her house clothes were beautiful, you would never see her in messy sweats like I tend to be. She was always so well put together and so classy.

*she has always been the one person to call me out on things. I am going to miss her telling me, "Ashlynn, your eyes need to be brown not green because you are so full of shit." I have always teased my grandma a lot and she knew it. She always loved me even when I wasn't very lovable though.

**right before she got sick she was so full of life. She would go to the Heritage Home and the nursing home to play cards and visit, she would work out, she would go help with church activities, she went shopping with me.

**If you have ever met my grandma I am positive you would tell me something else great about her that you have a memory of... and if you wanted to message me that memory I would love it.

I know my family is really thankful for the Heritage Home in Preston for helping take such great care of her the last two weeks and to all the people who have sent messages, went and visited her and helped through this time. I know my grandpa John will be so glad to have her back. If at the end of my life I am even half the woman she is I will be so lucky. 


**The worst thing about 'the good old days' is that to you don't realize how good 'the good old days' are till those days are gone. I wish everyone could have grandparents like mine. 

March 13th

Today is March 13th. Pretty insignificant for most people. Today is the day Michael Lynn Bronson, my dad, died. I don't remember a lot about him, I was only ten when it happened, my biggest memories come from pictures or memories other people tell me about. I have a sweater of his, a necklace, watch, and a bottle of cologne, that i have kept in my drawer since I was 18, the smell is the biggest memory trigger I have. I still take a Pepsi out to his grave on his birthday and Father's Day and now Boston comes with me.

I wish I remembered more about him, I have been told he was really smart and really funny. I remembered the night before he died I went to achievement days, it's a activity group for girls 8-12 in my church, and learned how to cook a chicken dish with mushrooms and onions and I was so excited to be able to make it for him, I never got to. I remember the night before I prayed that something would happen so I wouldn't have to go to my piano lesson the next day since I had hardly practiced. For a long time my ten year old self felt guilty assuming that is how my prayer got answered. I sometimes still feel guilty that I didn't call 911 or anything like that instead of waiting on my mom. My biggest form of guilt stems from the fact that I have never really cried about his death. I have always felt sad for the sadness my sisters and my mom had, maybe I'm not a huge cryer or maybe I block it out since I was there, mostly I assume it's because I was so young.

Before the funeral one of my mom's best friends, Jackie, took us shopping for new dresses to wear to it. The older girls wore darker colors, I picked a mint green dress that tied in the back and was a really soft material. That dress still hangs in my bedroom closet at my parents house. I had such a hard time comprehending that my mom was now a "window"(that's what I thought it was called) and hated all of the awkward stares I received when I went back to school.

I don't remember a lot about that time or that man. I know I was named after him, (Michael Lynn--Ashlynn) and I'm proud that Boston and I both share his last name.


On March 9th it was my dad, Kevin's, birthday. I am so thankful that he was able to become my dad. I sometimes think Michael picked him out specifically for us,, because I know he would think the world of him.

Parents drive us crazy, trust me , I completely understand that. But try to be nicer to them than necessary, tell them that you love them, since you never know when they might just be memory.

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I posted this last year on March 13th. Death is stupid, I hate it.